💋 Foreplay Should Be One-Sided (and Here’s Why)
Having straight sex? I think foreplay should usually be one sided — and I’ll die on this hill.
Here’s why:
Most men experience spontaneous desire — they get turned on easily, often without much warm-up.
Most women, on the other hand, experience responsive desire — they become aroused in response to stimulation, connection, or context.
Knowing that, doesn’t it make sense that foreplay should be all about her?
Let’s get anatomical for a sec:
Most women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone — and that’s not a flaw, it’s just biology. The majority of our pleasure nerves are in the clitoris, not inside the vagina. So if a partner isn’t actively stimulating the clit (with their hands, mouth, a toy — or if you aren’t doing that yourself), then penetrative sex is usually more physically satisfying for the partner with the penis.
That’s not a radical take — it’s an everyday reality for most women.
Penetrative sex stimulates the most sensitive parts of the penis, but not the clitoris. Which means that, for most women, foreplay is where the real fun happens — it’s the part that actually lights up our pleasure pathways and our desire.
So, two reasons foreplay should be about her:
- Responsive desire: It’s how most women get turned on — through touch, attention, and anticipation.
- Clitoral focus: That’s where most women’s pleasure comes from.
Yet porn and pop culture keep selling us this idea that foreplay should be mutual, quick, or skipped altogether. Foreplay isn’t a warm-up act — it’s the main event.
So my take?
Foreplay should be one-sided.
It shouldn’t be rushed.
It shouldn’t feel like a chore.
And it doesn’t need to be perfectly reciprocated.
When you take your time with someone’s body — really focus on them — you can move their energy from “yeah, let’s start and see how it goes” to “oh my god, I need you now.”