Do you like how you sound (in bed)?

We’ve already talked about not worrying what you look like during sex, but let’s talk about another performance most of us have unknowingly been trained for: how we sound.

If you’ve ever caught yourself mid-moan thinking, “Wait, do I actually sound like this?”, congratulations, you’re having a very human moment. Because, unsurprisingly, what we hear in porn is not what most people would sound like if we hadn’t been quietly (pun intended) conditioned to believe there’s a “right” way to sound sexy.

Porn Taught Us the Playlist, But Not the Music

In porn, it’s all breathy little loops of perfectly timed moans, the same rhythm from start to finish, regardless of what’s actually happening. It’s less “raw passion” and more “soundtrack for someone else’s fantasy.”

And once you’ve absorbed enough of that, it’s easy to feel like you should sound a certain way, even when your body wants to do something totally different. The subtle pressure to perform can actually pull you out of your own sensations - instead of sinking deeper into what you feel, you’re wondering if you sound cute, hot, or “too much.”

What Happens If You Stop Performing?

Here’s a little thought experiment:
What noises would you make if you didn’t care what they sounded like?

The kind of sounds that might escape you without permission: messy, primal, maybe even a little bit weird?

Because that’s the real soundtrack of pleasure: unpolished, unpredictable, alive.

Notice the Difference

You probably already know this instinctively. Think about how you sound when you’re on your own.
Solo play sounds different, doesn’t it? Maybe quieter, maybe louder, maybe not at all. But almost always - more honest.

That doesn’t mean everything else is an act. Dirty talk, encouragement, laughter, or whatever words tumble out between you and a partner - that’s all connection. That’s real, too.
Just be mindful not to slip into sounding like a porn star unless you actually want to, because, let’s be honest, I’m not convinced they’re having all that much fun.

So, What’s the Takeaway?

Next time, instead of trying to sound sexy, try feeling sexy. Let the noises come from your body, not your brain.
You might be surprised by what comes out - and even more surprised by how much deeper it takes you into your own pleasure.