“How Do I Stop Worrying What I Look Like During Sex?”
Because you deserve to be in your body, not watching it from the outside.
You’re finally in the moment.
The lighting is low. The mood is right. Your body is saying yes…
And then your brain whispers:
“Is my stomach doing something weird?”
“What does my face look like right now?”
“Are they staring at my thighs?”
Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever been mid-moan and suddenly zoomed out of your own body to spiral about how you look, you are so not alone.
Another dead giveaway - is your orgasm face the same with someone as it is when you're by yourself? If it's really different - it might be because you're holding back.
Where Does That Voice Even Come From?
Here’s the truth: worrying about how you look during sex isn’t because you’re vain or insecure. It’s because we’ve spent years being taught to see ourselves from the outside in.
From movies to social media to that one awful comment we never forgot, we’ve been trained to prioritize how we appear over how we feel. And when you carry that lens into the bedroom? Suddenly sex becomes a performance—not a pleasure.
But Here’s the Good News: You Can Reclaim the Moment
Let’s talk about how to quiet that inner critic and come back into your body where the good stuff actually happens.
1. Shift the Focus: From Looking Good to Feeling Good
Instead of wondering how you look, try asking:
“What feels good right now?”
“What would make this feel even better?”
Maybe it’s changing positions, deepening your breath, or even just allowing yourself to relax. The sexiest thing in the room isn’t your angle—it’s your presence.
2. Light the Room for You
If you’re worried about what’s visible, make the environment feel beautiful for you. Use flattering lighting (warm, soft, low), candles, or ambient lamps. Think: moody lounge, not dental surgery.
Set the tone in a way that makes you feel sensual—not exposed.
3. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
Notice what your senses are picking up.
Touch. Sound. Breath. Warmth.
You might be surprised how quickly anxiety softens when you focus on sensation rather than perception.
Try grounding yourself with:
- A silk robe or bamboo sheets
- Your favourite fragrance
- Music with a deep, slow rhythm (more on sexy playlists coming soon)
- A toy that helps you tune in to your pleasure
4. Talk to Your Partner (or Yourself)
If you’re with someone, vulnerability can be powerful. Saying something like, “Sometimes I get a little in my head about how I look” opens the door for reassurance and connection.
And if you’re solo? Talk back to that inner critic.
You don’t need to look sexy to be sexy. You already are.
5. Remember: They’re Not Watching You Like a Judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race
They’re probably thinking:
“She’s so hot right now.”
“I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be here.”
“Please don’t stop doing that.”
You’re in your head about what you look like—they’re in their body loving what you feel like.
The Bottom Line
Your body isn’t a performance.
It’s a living, breathing, pleasure-giving vessel.
And it’s yours.
You don’t owe anyone a “good angle” or a porn-star face. You only owe yourself the freedom to enjoy, to play, to be fully present.
So next time that critical little voice pipes up?
Take a deep breath.
Roll your hips.
And remind yourself: you are the whole damn vibe.