Making time

Start Where You Are (Yes, This Ends Up Being About Sex)

I promise this post circles back to sex — but first, we need to talk about something a little less obvious: slowing down. (I also promise this will only get a little woo woo)

Before we go straight for the jugular (read: the clitoris), we need to ease ourselves into a space that feels safe, connected, and grounded. That starts with warming ourselves up for touch — physically — and slowing ourselves down mentally. Because let’s be real: most of us are rushing through our days like we’re in a competitive sport called To-Do List Olympics (because we are).

So here’s your gentle assignment: where in your day can you carve out five minutes to connect with your breath and your body?

Start exactly where you are. No incense or crystals required (unless that’s your thing — in which case, go you).

Maybe it’s as simple as buying a beautiful hand cream that you absolutely love the smell of. Keep it in the driver’s side door pocket of your car, and use it on your way to work, after daycare drop-off, or on the way to your mum’s. Breathe deeply, rub it in slowly, enjoy the scent, and let yourself be present in the small moment.

Maybe it’s sitting down with a hot tea or coffee in your favourite mug, headphones in, and actually tasting it. Five quiet minutes. No emails, no small talk, just deep breaths and something warm in your hands. (Can only get this time before bed when everyone else is asleep? Get a decaffeinated herbal tea or a hot chocolate.)

Maybe it’s interrupting that exhausted doom-scroll with a little self-massage. Set a gentle alarm. Grab some body oil or a moisturiser that smells great. Rub it into your feet, your chest, your thighs — wherever feels safe and comfortable. Just like we talked about in last Sunday’s self-care post. It doesn’t need to be sexy. It doesn’t need to be performative. No one’s watching & no one is expecting anything afterwards. There’s no goal here. The trying is the success.

Ideally, we want it to be an activity that involves more than one sense. (Hand cream: touch & smell. Hot tea: touch, smell & taste. Massage: touch & smell. Doom-scrolling: doesn't pass test). 

Let’s be honest — we’re all busy. Maybe you're wrangling kids (big or small), working two jobs, caring for a loved one, travelling for work, or just keeping your head above water. I believe in your ability to make time. Because women are incredible. We say we have no time and then give away more of it for everyone else. I'm asking you to give a little bit of that same energy and priority back to yourself.

And this is why starting exactly where you are is so important. It doesn’t need to be fancy. It just needs to be yours.

And if you’re already further along this journey? Your homework is a bath, a spicy audiobook, and a slow self-massage after. You deserve it.

Next week, we’ll talk about how these small rituals can be the gateway to sexual touch and why starting slow might just be the sexiest thing of all. 🔥

Phoebe x