Resting bitch face isn't real

You’ve heard it before: when men tell women to smile when she's minding her own business, just… existing. Walking down the street. Sitting on the bus. Browsing the supermarket aisles, probably calculating whether she’s got enough laundry detergent left at home. Apparently, if our faces aren’t arranged into some version of approachable sunshine, we’re labelled with the dreaded: resting bitch face.

But here’s the thing: resting bitch face isn’t real. What is real is the fact that women are carrying an invisible weight every single day - the mental load. And while we’re quietly running mental spreadsheets on whether the dog’s vaccinations are up to date, if the kids’ school shoes still fit, and how many meals we can make out of the groceries already in the fridge… of course we’re not wandering around grinning like Cheshire cats.

The kicker? Men never get told they have resting bitch face. When men look serious, it’s seen as thoughtful. Professional. Even mysterious. When women look serious, we’re cold, unapproachable, or - heaven forbid - “angry.” Same neutral face. Completely different read.

And here’s the double whammy: if we did walk around smiling all the time, chances are more men would approach us. And more often than not, that’s not what we want when we’re just trying to get through our to-do list in peace.

So maybe we stop calling it a bitch face and call it what it really is: a game face. A busy face. Or, radical thought, maybe we don’t call it anything at all. Because most of the time, when a woman isn’t smiling at you, it’s not personal. She’s probably thinking about ten things at once (seven of which aren’t even her problems), but the family’s, the household’s, the workplace’s. She didn’t even notice you were there.

So next time you catch someone with that so-called “resting bitch face,” let's assume she’s just deep in thought. And let’s give each other a break. Not every face is an invitation, and not every moment is for performance.