The Photographer Matters: A Tale of Two Boudoir Shoots

When we talk about sexy self care, boudoir photography often makes its way into the conversation. But what isn’t talked about enough is how dramatically different the experience can feel depending on who’s behind the camera.

I’ve done two boudoir shoots in the past few years. One at a sleek studio in Melbourne, which I’d won through a competition at Sexpo. The other was just this week, with Holly from The Boudoir Queen in Canberra. Same type of shoot, wildly different experiences. And spoiler: only one of them made me feel truly seen, sexy, and empowered.

Let’s start with the prep…

Booking the Melbourne shoot felt like dealing with a sales rep. I spoke to a receptionist who was vague about the details and pushy about locking in a date. No real sense of what to expect, and definitely no one checking in on the vibe I wanted from the session.

With Holly, it was the total opposite. She handled all the communication herself. She was open, warm, and genuinely curious about how I wanted to feel in the shoot. We talked about themes, colours, energy. I felt like a person, not a booking.

The studio vibes: chalk and cheese

When I arrived in Melbourne, I was caught off guard to find two male photographers would be taking my photos. I hadn’t asked, because I’d just assumed it would be a woman, and no one thought to clarify. They offered me champagne (at 10am), which I wouldn’t normally accept, but I was suddenly so on edge I took it just to take the edge off.

At Holly’s studio, the experience couldn’t have felt more different. From the moment I walked in, it felt like a safe, cozy little haven. She gave me a tour, showed me props and backdrops that matched the vibe we’d talked about, and we chatted like old friends before even picking up the camera.

Posing: being moved vs being empowered

In Melbourne, posing instructions were… blunt. I was told what to do, but not why. There was no conversation, no feedback, just a series of commands while I stood there in sheer lingerie in front of two men I didn’t know. It felt clinical and awkward, like I was trying to pass some kind of sexy test.

Holly, on the other hand, made posing feel collaborative and empowering. She started by saying, “None of this is real—we’re going to sit on the couch, but not how you’d sit at home. Trust me, and I’ll show you the difference.” She’d explain how changing the light or my posture would shift the whole energy of the shot. It wasn’t about correcting me, it was about creating magic together.

She’d say things like:
👉 “Lean forward a little—see how the light hits your chest here?”
👉 “Keep your feet straight on, it gives the shot a strong, intentional feel.”

It was like being coached by someone who truly saw me, not just my body, but my intention.

The sales pitch from hell

Here’s where it really turned. After my Melbourne shoot, they led me into a private viewing room, showed me the photos immediately, and launched into the hardest of hard sells.

Turns out I hadn’t actually won any of the photos, just the shoot itself. I was charged $2,500 for 8–10 digital images, with intense pressure around themes like self-worth, body confidence, and “won’t your partner want more of these?” I felt trapped. I’d flown all the way there, taken time off work, and felt like I had to justify the effort by buying the photos, even though my gut was screaming no.

Holly? Bless her. She sent me a sneak peek the same night, just to get me excited. There was no pressure, just genuine joy and shared pride in the session. Her pricing was clear from the start—and included 10 edited digital images.

It’s not just about the photos

Looking back, the Melbourne shoot gave me some beautiful photos, but I still get a pit in my stomach thinking about how it all felt. That discomfort lives in the memory of those images.

With Holly, even the sneak peek makes my heart sing. I see the photo and remember how fun and empowering the whole experience was.

Because here’s the truth: it’s not just about how you look in the photos, it’s about how you feel when you take them, and how you remember feeling when you look at them later.

So if you’re considering a boudoir shoot (and I genuinely think every woman should at least once!), take your time choosing the photographer. Ask questions. Find someone who wants to celebrate you, not just photograph you.

And if you're in Canberra, let me just say—Holly is the real deal. (@boudoirqueencanberra)